Let’s Talk About Christmas

Christmas was magical to me as a child. The entire season: the snow, the time away from school, and of course Santa!  I was always an early riser, and I always wanted to be up early to see the presents under the tree. But my mom had a strict rule – no presents until my dad had finished the chores. It was torture!  And I grew up (and currently live) in a big old farmhouse – the house is probably close to 150 years old. And it creaks.  So every year, my mom would hear my footsteps on the stairs at like 4 in the morning, and quickly send me packing back to bed. But one year, maybe when I was 10ish(?), I started practicing in probably October. Which treads creaked?  Where did they creak?  If I stepped here, would it make a noise?  Could I make it down the stairs with my mom none the wiser?  And I finally did it!  I made it down the stairs and grabbed my sister’s and my stockings and got back upstairs to her room, to go through those before our parents even woke up. Ruth, then as now, enjoyed her sleep, so I had to wake her up as well. 

This is one of the dichotomies of my childhood. I was entranced by the magic of Christmas, but I honestly do not remember ever believing in Santa (apologies to any children reading this. Santa is TOTALLY real.) I do have a memory of getting in trouble in 1st or 2nd grade for telling a classmate that there was no Santa, and she was a fool for believing, and one day when she had children and didn’t buy them presents “from Santa”, then she would know I was right. I wan an obnoxious child, have I mentioned that before?  Speaking of being an obnoxious child, I was constantly snooping for Christmas presents in the house, because I just knew they weren’t coming from the North Pole. And I found them and discovered most of what I was getting for Christmas. And then because my Christmas surprises were ruined, I told my sister what she was getting. My mom figured out what I was doing, so one year, she wrapped everything as she brought it in the house. I was undeterred, and just unwrapped and then re-wrapped everything. And of course, I did the same with my sister’s presents. I’m not sure if she was ever surprised by a Christmas present. I was rotten. 

Fast forward to being a grownup, working a part time job at the record store in the mall during university, and I started to HATE Christmas. (Anybody remember Music World?)  The sappy music and decorations started in November, and the harried shoppers leading up to the big day. That was back in the early 90s when there was a big controversy about Sunday shopping (god, I’m old!), and Boxing Day. Once shopping was legal on December 26, I didn’t really get a Christmas break. 

I finally stopped working retail in 1998, and I was able to breathe during the holidays. But, I think I suffered holiday PTSD for a good decade. I didn’t start any real Christmas baking rituals until the mid-2000s, and it was probably 2015ish before I really got into it. I started doing stockings for my sister and her husband (while he was still around). I just tried to make it nice. Then in maybe 2020, I got an actual Christmas tree – that’s a big step for a recovering mall rat!

And then there was Henry’s first Christmas – I may have overdone it.

We always did advent calendars when I was a kid, but I really got into them in the last few years. I had 5 one year: 2 chocolate, coffee, gin and cheese. That was a good year!  Then a couple of years ago, Ruth started doing a book advent calendar for me, pulled from my TBR shelves. That’s probably my favourite one of all! 

Christmas was almost ruined this year, with me being unemployed up until November.  I didn’t feel like I could make it nice without the necessary finances. I know it’s not supposed to be about the money, but it’s typically people with money who say that.  One good outcome from the potentially gloomy Christmas is that Ruth may have found her Christmas spirit!  She’s been a notorious Grinch for years. This year for my book advent calendar, she upped the ante and included little treats in each day’s bag along with the book: stationery, homemade bookmarks with pictures of the babies, stuff from her trip to Morocco. She did good!  She really tried to make Christmas nice for me when I was so depressed about it. She had been planning that since her trip in September!

So yes, there are more presents under the tree than originally planned this year (but we have to wait until Thursday to see for sure), but maybe we both found the real spirit of Christmas. 🎄

Merry Christmas to you and yours, however/if you celebrate!  Much love to you all! ❤️